Are you sick of being manipulated? Are you tired of repeating destructive patterns? Then it is time to practice asking why. Why do I feel that way about what they said? Why did they do that? We are told to ask questions in school…but told that we cannot question adults’ choices. And we can only ask questions when given permission by authority figures. They may be able to stop you from verbalizing those questions, but why do we stop really asking those questions internally? A lot of manipulative people and systems will tell you what why is…and conveniently their whys are always within their viewpoint. This isn’t really asking why. That is their justification for the choice that they have already made. Whether it is a choice about an action, identity or perspective doesn’t matter when it comes to justifications. But justifications are not asking why. They are fancy excuses. Asking why is a sincere desire to listen and learn for the sole purpose of gaining understanding. I don’t mean agree or support, but to learn. It can be a challenge to open up your own perspective so that you can really understand, especially when you need to see the world that way for your own reasons. But it is the best way to gain understanding. Understanding is another kind of knowledge and therefore power. It takes practice to recognize what is the real why verses the why you have chosen and are making fit the situation to reinforce your own beliefs and psychological constructs. Another way to know it is probably close to the real answer is when it is complicated. Life is complicated. Our society is complicated. And most importantly, people are complicated. So the answer will be complicated. The most important thing is to sincerely ask why so that you can learn and gain power. Learning the truth of others is power. Learning the truth about yourself is empowerment. And you can have that by asking why.
